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OCD

All my furniture and footwear is covered in plastic
Itís the only way to stop the spread of diseases
Before I leave for work Iíve got to clean all the carpets
But I donít trust the Hoover, I use tweezers

Before I can sit down to watch Midsomer Murders
The TV must be adjusted to the perfect angle
And when I want to leave the room I canít open the door
Until Iíve made sure Iíve disinfected the handle

I must take a shower at least every hour
Perspiration makes me feel evil and bad
I donít consider my genitals to be clean
Unless theyíve been buffed by a Brillo pad

Something very bad will happen
If I donít sterilise my kettle
Something very bad will happen
If I donít touch that piece of metal

Iíve got OCD, Itís consuming me
Iíve washed my hands more times than Lady Macbeth
Iíve got OCD, Itís controlling me
An unaligned placemat is a portent of death

Must polish skirting board
Must open and shut fridge
Must... run... finger... along... underside... of... ridge

Hygiene is hybrid of science and superstition
A way of life for those of a certain disposition
A religion, like all others, based on ritual and submission
And deep fear of every form of bodily emission

God spoke to me once and gave me a mission
"Clean the kitchen! Do the dishes!" so said the apparition
Thanks a lot, God, next time I wonít even listen
Cos youíve given me a debilitating medical condition

Order! Chaos!
Order! Chaos!
Order! Chaos!
Order! Chaos! Order! Chaos! Order! Chaos!
Order! Chaos! Order! Chaos! Order! Chaos! Order Chaos!
Chaos! Order.




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